It's 5am in the morning and I wake up thinking what a good sleep I've had considering that I'm heavily pregnant. A quick toilet break and I can still catch another couple of hours sleep.
But, when I hop back into bed, my mind starts to wander... We've been told lately by a health professional that I trust (not just some random know-it-all), that a natural birth could greatly reduce the chance of our next child having allergies. I had been leaning towards an elective c-section since our first boy had to have an emergency c-section. However, if there is a chance we could somehow assist our next child not to have allergies, then surely it's worth a try??
I know, these are not the thoughts you should entertain in the middle of the night... big big mistake!
We don't have family living anywhere nearby, so we've had some lovely friends offer to help us look after our 3 year old when labour comes. I've already prepared a large bag of foods that our son can eat so that we can grab it and go when the time goes. Although a few of my friends are familiar with the epipen, I start to remember that actually, there are a lot of steps before an epipen is required, or rather there are a lot of steps to avoid having to use an epipen. Actually, I need to schedule an hour of adult only time when I can explain all the complexities: cross-contamination (since all our friends have other kids); maybe I should include a frypan and cooking utensils in another bag; when to give the antihistimine medication; the dosage and usage of the asthma medication; another bag for his bedding and sleeping things...
Then I start to think how ridiculous and unfair it is that I have to plan all this stuff just to try and reduce the likelihood of having a child with severe food allergies. Plus, the only reason I have to prepare all this stuff is because our first born has so many darned food allergies! Actually, I just hate food allergies all round! Yup, I hate hate hate them. Is there any good that comes from it???!
Hmmm, I've tried to convince myself that having food anaphylaxis in our family has helped us to be more understanding to others and perhaps provide assistance to others who have to go through the same thing. Sometimes this works... other times... not so much. So maybe having to do all this planning is a good chance for us to share with others around the complexities of living with multiple food anaphylaxis. Perhaps it's a good chance to truly educate others in our community? Or perhaps it's just a FRICKIN' BIG PAIN IN THE BUTT!!!!!
So two hours later, I give up trying to sleep. The rare occasion that our son decides to sleep properly till 7am, and I've worked myself into a frenzy of crazy thoughts, a heart rate of about 120 while lying down and shortness of breath. Nice work! Grrrrr!
It's not until I get out of bed and am in the kitchen on my own that I can finally let the tension out and the tears finally come. Ah, you have to love pregnancy hormones.
And so begins another day... with just a few more things on my To-Do list. At least once my husband and son wake up I can get some lovely cuddles and remember why it is we do these things, and that in the end, it is worth it.
For the next step in our journey, Panic to peace with our pregnancy, click here.
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